Conspiracy! The Show 303: The Five Eyes Are Watching You

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I.
Hey everybody, welcome to

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Conspiracy the Show.
I’m your host Adam Todd Brown,

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joining me as Co host this week.
Connors here.

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How’s it going, man?
How’s it going, Adam?

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Just fantastic.
Excited for today’s topic and we

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have a fantastic guest in the
proverbial room, Danielle

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Radford’s here.
Hi, I’m a guest in the

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proverbial room.
In the proverbial room, we’re

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not all in the same room.
That’s the side room at the

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comedy club for the B&C level
headliners.

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Yeah, the.
Proverbial room.

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It seats 40 to 50.
It’s a proverbially on.

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It could be pretty good, but,
you know, not usually.

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That’s where I do my weekly
showcase.

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I have been threatening to do a
series of episodes about the

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various intelligence agencies of
the United States, and that is

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finally happening.
The first episode upcoming will

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be about Naval Intelligence,
which is actually the country’s

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first ever intelligence agency.
Stay tuned for that.

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I thought that was belly button
science.

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What?
Naval Intelligence.

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I get it.
I hate that I didn’t get it at

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first.
It’s also the study of oranges,

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yes.
It is, yeah.

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Too today, we are not talking
about a specific intelligence

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agency, we’re talking about an
intelligence alliance called the

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Five Eyes.
Yeah, yeah.

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Yeah, yeah, It’s an alliance.
It’s like Survivor, but only the

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white people win.
So it’s like Survivor?

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Exactly.
This is always one of these

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things that comes up in
conspiracy theories where I

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always go, there’s got to be
more there.

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New Zealand’s up to something,
you know.

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Never trust a Kiwi.
A bunch of white people on an

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island is usually never.
You know that’s how Yaqoob got

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started.
Come on.

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Connor, you mentioned there has
to be something more to stuff

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like this.
I did an episode about this in

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2021 on the Unpopular Opinion
podcast, and I mentioned that,

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hey, maybe this is about white
supremacy a little bit because

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of the countries involved and
all the things they share.

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And someone actually got in the
comments and told me that they

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went on the Five Eyes website
and didn’t find anything about

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white supremacy.
So I’m wrong.

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It’s like, Oh yeah, that’s how
that would work.

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They would just have.
To be fair, sometimes you go on

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these websites, Adam, and you
know this and it’ll be like the

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Five Eyes is the foundation
rooted in white supremacy.

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Like it’s just right there in
the yeah, the mission statement.

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So you got to check.
I mean the CIA has freaking shit

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about the Hindu Vedas and UFOs
from the 1950s and their goddamn

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website.
I think, yeah, there’s also a

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lot of people who are from the
newer generations not to get

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all, like, back in my day, our
dog whistles were dog whistles.

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They didn’t say the quiet part
out loud.

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Now there’s a generation of
people who grew up where the

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quiet part has been said out
loud, and so it’s harder for

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them to recognize what a dog
whistle is.

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We’ve never done a full on
episode about the Five Eyes on

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this podcast and.
Then there’s some people like

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too short, just going blow the
whistle, I mean, and let’s hear

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it.
So we’re going to suck in talk

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about it today.
And they’re up to new hijinks.

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Since 2021, they’ve shifted
focus into AI and things of the

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like.
So there’s updates, but let’s

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talk about that website and the
official description of the Five

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Eyes.
It is an alliance between the

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five Anglosphere nations,
Australia, Canada, New Zealand,

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UK and the US.
Not even letting.

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Spain in oh, I mean, Germany’s
not even in man.

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Yeah.
So it’s not even the all of the

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white nations.
It’s just.

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You ever go to the the paper
section on Office Depot and it’s

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like bright lights, you know,
like this is like the bright

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whites.
That term, Anglosphere, refers

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to a community of English
speaking countries that share a

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common cultural and historical
heritage.

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Yeah, man, we just love like
imperialism.

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We’re like, so good at it.
Yeah, I I was going to say

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genocide, but either one.
Yeah, that’s a good term.

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A lot of names on that list have
that in common.

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New Zealand calls up Australia,
That thing you did with the

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Aboriginals back in the 70s.
Yeah.

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We’re thinking about trying
something like that up here

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’cause you could, we could.
Great, great.

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We’ll see you.
We’ll see you next week.

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Everybody’s talking to their
great friends in the US and

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Canada.
Canada, I know everyone all just

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talks about how nice you are.
You’re not getting away with it.

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We know what y’all do to
Indigenous women up there.

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Oh man.
They at least read a little

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fucking poem or whatever they
do, you know, don’t they?

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I went to Canada once and I was
like, they were doing that and I

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was like, oh shit, someone’s
even to their they pretend to

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care up here.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Not really though.
Canada’s rough.

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And the redneck part says you’re
just in Alabama but cold.

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Yeah, their police just kill
Indigenous people instead of

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black people.
That’s the main difference.

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There’s not as many black people
to kill, so they have to shift

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focus.
And you have a whole cottage

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industry of going into the woods
to kill things for fun that’s

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very available to you.
But you’re like, yeah, but it’s

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it doesn’t.
The Moose doesn’t have a family

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and a job.
Which is wild because it’s like,

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can’t y’all just do like weird
woods porn like like a lot of

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other places do?
It’s like, no, that’s where

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murders happen.
And then we just tell everyone

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that Bigfoot’s up there and so
if they see anything weird,

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they’re like, it’s Bigfoot and
definitely not weird murder I.

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Like the idea that if we did
finally encounter Bigfoot in

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this country, the first thing
we’d probably do is deport him

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back to Canada.
Yeah.

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Like, that would be first order
of business.

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He’s.
Taking our jobs?

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Yeah, he’s he’s taking our
loping and being fuzzy on

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photograph jobs.
There is a genre of guy of Rudy

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Giuliani genius that would hear
the news about Bigfoot and

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immediately think, oh fuck,
there’s going to be land rights

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issues and Portland, Washington,
a whole cottage industry of

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legal sub branches that end up
dealing with this.

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Yeah, that sounds like a
goldmine.

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I’m getting into Bigfoot law.
Bigfoot wants to come here.

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He needs to do it the right way
and that means you better be

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able to afford a plane ticket.
Otherwise, don’t come to this

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country.
They put better overstay his

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visa like the rest of us.
Yeah.

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And even then it’s just a soft
maybe, but.

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Yeah, I assume it would just be
a lot of people we can just do

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remember that thing we used to
do the what was that?

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The slavery?
That seemed to work out really

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well for a couple of us.
So I don’t know, man, How much

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can you carry?
And they’re even stronger than

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people.
Yeah, real big.

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Too real tall.
Hey Elon Musk, I got a Tesla bot

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for you.
He’s 8 feet tall and his shits

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as big as a Boston Terrier.
More durable than a fucking

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cyber truck.
He throws a heavy metal ball at

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the Bigfoot and he’s just like
ow what the dude, come on.

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Come on man, you broke my
glasses.

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You’re.
Going to be chained up like King

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Kong with like a little dignity
here.

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Here’s a quote from the Office
of the Director of National

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Intelligence website.
The Council members exchange

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views on subjects of mutual
interest and concern, compare

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best practices and review and
oversight methodology, explore

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areas where cooperation on
reviews and the sharing of

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results is permitted.
Where appropriate, They fucking

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cooperate.
I need to know more about this

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council, mostly.
Are there cloaks involved?

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Is there a secret knock?
I need to know these things

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because it sounds very
draconian.

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Yeah, how many candles must be
lit?

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Yeah, there’s an owl statue in
these meetings for sure.

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Where’s Moloch and all this?
Yeah, exactly.

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They set it on fire at the end
of each meeting.

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Very ceremonial.
We got to start incorporating

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shit like that into these
podcasts.

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Why not?
Government doesn’t.

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It’s got to be to some end.
What if our lives change

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immediately for the better?
Appealing to the subconscious

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impact of the Sumerian blood
deity through ritual and

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sacrifice.
I mean, this it’s, it would

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almost be weird if it had no
effect on the universe.

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I mean, come on, right?
We’ll throw it in for fun and

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maybe we get lucky and we
fucking sacrifice something to

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the right God.
Right I’m I don’t know man, I

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play D and DI.
Could be a convincing druid.

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Hell yeah.
Low intelligence, high wisdom

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build.
That’s kind of what you want in

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the conspiracy world a little.
Bit right?

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You just need that bullshit
detector.

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So let’s talk about the history
of the Five Eyes a little bit.

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PBS describes them as an
exclusive club made-up of,

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quote, the five countries that
don’t spy on each other.

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End Quote.
And that’s really fucking

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accurate.
If you’re one of these five

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countries, we won’t spy on you.
And I know that sounds like, Oh

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yeah, right, sure you don’t.
But it seems like what this is,

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at least right now, is a way for
countries to spy on their own

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citizens without actually doing
it themselves.

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Outsource it to New Zealand.
It’s like we didn’t do it.

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We just heard from New Zealand
that you guys were.

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Well, it’s exactly that.
When Edward Snowden released all

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those documents back in like
2013, one of the things that was

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revealed was that the US was
paying the UK to spy on our

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citizens and then send the
information to the NSA because

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we’re not allowed to spy on our
own citizens, but another

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country can.
Yeah, because it’s like, you

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know, when you go on TikTok and
those girls are like, hey, you

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know, give me 50 bucks and I’ll
see if your man’s been cheating

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on you.
And then like, they go into your

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man’s DMS, report back if he
takes him up on it.

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It’s like that.
It’s like we have an open phone

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policy.
I don’t see why it needs to be a

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girl offering this service.
I could do this with three or

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four stock images, couple of
copy and paste prompts.

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I know I agree but I think it’s
just they want just in case the

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guy presses for video time,
which as we know the UK has got

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a lot of because they have those
cameras everywhere.

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Everywhere we don’t, but the UK
does.

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We don’t need to.
We have, can’t we have our

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cameras?
Yeah, the UK is just more honest

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about who gets access to those
cameras.

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They’re like, no, the police
can’t look at your Ring doorbell

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footage.
No, yeah, of course they can.

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What’s interesting about the
Five Eyes?

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We just found out about them
officially in 2010 when the UK

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government bunch of documents
about it but it dates back to

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fucking World War 2.
This is.

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Crazy.
Like Area 51 was only officially

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confirmed when Barack Obama made
like a bad Jimmy Kimmel joke

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00:11:02,600 –> 00:11:05,560
about like, well, it was
probably locked up in Area 51.

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This partnership, it dates back
to World War 2 and it started

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with a secret 7 page agreement
between the US and the UK.

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And at first it was just an
intelligence partnership meant

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to spy on Russia, which that’s
not surprising at all.

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It went from two eyes to three
eyes in 1948 when Canada joined

219
00:11:28,640 –> 00:11:30,720
for some reason.
Can’t we just fucking spy on

220
00:11:30,720 –> 00:11:32,880
them?
Why was it the fucking two eyes?

221
00:11:32,880 –> 00:11:34,320
Why don’t we just call it the
eyes?

222
00:11:34,360 –> 00:11:37,760
That’s how many eyes almost
everything but Tarantulas has.

223
00:11:37,880 –> 00:11:41,760
I think it was, it’s still
technically, I think called the

224
00:11:41,760 –> 00:11:46,080
UKUSA agreement.
They just started calling it the

225
00:11:46,080 –> 00:11:47,840
Five.
I, I don’t know actually who

226
00:11:47,840 –> 00:11:50,240
came up with the Five Eyes.
The name.

227
00:11:50,400 –> 00:11:53,240
It’s a bitching name though.
Yeah, that is actually a really,

228
00:11:53,280 –> 00:11:55,080
that feels like one of those
things where it’s like, oh, the

229
00:11:55,080 –> 00:11:58,440
government hired its best, you
know, the best genre writers to

230
00:11:58,440 –> 00:12:00,800
come up with some wacky shit, to
name things.

231
00:12:01,160 –> 00:12:03,280
But then half the shit is like,
and we’re going to call it

232
00:12:03,280 –> 00:12:05,280
Operation Thunder.
Fuck yeah.

233
00:12:06,800 –> 00:12:08,640
OK, so this was like the two
week window where as a

234
00:12:08,640 –> 00:12:11,120
freelancer you could get paid.
You know, it’s like when all of

235
00:12:11,120 –> 00:12:13,320
a sudden there were all of those
like apps where people were

236
00:12:13,320 –> 00:12:15,200
getting paid to make like short
form comedy.

237
00:12:15,400 –> 00:12:17,120
It’s like that except with
naming.

238
00:12:17,360 –> 00:12:18,120
Weird.
Government.

239
00:12:18,120 –> 00:12:23,200
This is the Quivi and so a
renaissance of government.

240
00:12:23,200 –> 00:12:26,720
Covert operation naming.
I mean they can’t all be MK

241
00:12:26,720 –> 00:12:30,440
Ultra and sound like a fucking
Thor villain.

242
00:12:30,800 –> 00:12:33,440
See, that’s fucking cool.
That’s a good name too.

243
00:12:33,440 –> 00:12:35,800
So much better than shock and
awe or any of like that.

244
00:12:36,600 –> 00:12:41,200
Australia and New Zealand joined
in 1956 and that’s when they

245
00:12:41,200 –> 00:12:43,360
were 5.
I don’t know if they started

246
00:12:43,360 –> 00:12:46,640
calling them the Five Eyes then,
but that’s when it became an

247
00:12:46,640 –> 00:12:50,280
alliance of five countries and
it’s basically just a global

248
00:12:50,280 –> 00:12:53,920
surveillance network.
They just spy on people.

249
00:12:53,920 –> 00:12:58,080
They pledged to share electronic
surveillance information with

250
00:12:58,080 –> 00:13:00,520
each other and to not spy on
each other.

251
00:13:00,640 –> 00:13:03,440
So I don’t know if people
remember that thing that

252
00:13:03,440 –> 00:13:08,280
happened under Obama where we
got caught spying on Germany and

253
00:13:08,280 –> 00:13:11,720
people were like, why would you
spy on one of your allies?

254
00:13:11,880 –> 00:13:14,640
And it’s because we literally
have four countries that we

255
00:13:14,640 –> 00:13:19,280
won’t spy on anyone else his
fucking fair game, including

256
00:13:19,320 –> 00:13:24,720
fucking Israel, Germany, France,
South Africa, any of the

257
00:13:24,720 –> 00:13:28,360
countries that you normally
think of as our tightest allies.

258
00:13:28,360 –> 00:13:31,680
We’re like no promises, we still
might spy on your shit.

259
00:13:31,800 –> 00:13:35,400
What do we have on New Zealand?
What kind of Jeffrey Epstein

260
00:13:35,400 –> 00:13:39,120
shit makes us go, oh, they’ll be
cool, don’t.

261
00:13:39,320 –> 00:13:41,080
I’m not worried about New
Zealand.

262
00:13:41,960 –> 00:13:45,560
Yeah, no idea what do.
New Zealand to me feels like the

263
00:13:45,560 –> 00:13:49,360
Canada of Australia in.
Once you have Australia, do you

264
00:13:49,360 –> 00:13:52,800
need New Zealand to participate?
Yeah, but then if we don’t have

265
00:13:52,800 –> 00:13:55,440
New Zealand, then we’re the four
eyes, and that doesn’t sound

266
00:13:55,440 –> 00:13:57,400
cool.
There was like a bunch of dorks.

267
00:13:57,560 –> 00:14:00,080
We’re Milhouse, Yeah.
Fucking nerds.

268
00:14:01,200 –> 00:14:04,000
Yeah, that wouldn’t be good.
No, you got to round it out.

269
00:14:04,160 –> 00:14:06,680
Yeah, I just sort of think of
New Zealand as like being an

270
00:14:07,360 –> 00:14:11,600
even split between like a
dwindling population of white

271
00:14:11,600 –> 00:14:14,880
ancestral sheep fuckers.
Irish guy here in those shade.

272
00:14:15,360 –> 00:14:18,840
And I’ve been like a bunch of
Gabe Newell new money tech

273
00:14:19,040 –> 00:14:22,480
billionaires like building their
like apocalypse built bunkers in

274
00:14:22,480 –> 00:14:26,720
the rolling hills.
I have no preconceived notions

275
00:14:26,760 –> 00:14:31,000
of New Zealand that extend
beyond Flight of the Conchords.

276
00:14:32,280 –> 00:14:35,160
I assume that’s everyone in New
Zealand, so it seems like a cool

277
00:14:35,160 –> 00:14:38,040
place to me.
Yeah, I got a real Lord of the

278
00:14:38,040 –> 00:14:43,880
Rings focused view.
Everywhere is just hobbiting to

279
00:14:43,880 –> 00:14:44,800
me, man.
I don’t know.

280
00:14:45,920 –> 00:14:47,560
Yeah, I hope it’s like a mash
up.

281
00:14:47,560 –> 00:14:50,080
I hope it’s just really funny
hobbits.

282
00:14:50,080 –> 00:14:53,480
Like really skilled musical
comedy hobbits.

283
00:14:54,240 –> 00:14:55,920
Look at all these droll little
fellas.

284
00:14:57,840 –> 00:15:00,440
That would be great.
Yeah, I’m in in the comments, if

285
00:15:00,440 –> 00:15:03,840
we’re right, New Zealand.
They made us a flagon of

286
00:15:03,840 –> 00:15:08,040
strawberry cordial.
Just sitting there smoking pipe

287
00:15:08,040 –> 00:15:10,440
weed sounds dope.
I think that’s actually a Red

288
00:15:10,440 –> 00:15:12,600
Wall reference, not a Lord of
the Rings reference.

289
00:15:12,600 –> 00:15:15,560
But I reveal myself God.
Damn it, Connor, you’re

290
00:15:15,560 –> 00:15:18,600
embarrassing us.
I know I’m going to.

291
00:15:18,720 –> 00:15:20,520
I got the Salmarillion upstairs
too.

292
00:15:20,520 –> 00:15:24,160
I should be ashamed of myself.
I just mentioned Germany and how

293
00:15:24,160 –> 00:15:27,800
we were spying on them under
Obama and probably under Trump,

294
00:15:27,920 –> 00:15:33,080
Biden, Clinton, Bush, every
other president and France also.

295
00:15:33,280 –> 00:15:38,120
They found your toilet cameras.
They both have wanted to be in

296
00:15:38,120 –> 00:15:41,000
the Five Eyes for a long, long
time.

297
00:15:41,360 –> 00:15:44,400
I can’t see the Five Eyes.
They don’t speak American.

298
00:15:44,400 –> 00:15:47,320
That’s why we only want people
who speak American.

299
00:15:47,320 –> 00:15:51,800
It’s so unfair.
Yeah, I think that’s a big part

300
00:15:51,800 –> 00:15:53,960
of it.
There’s going to be a language

301
00:15:53,960 –> 00:15:55,600
barrier.
And also we don’t need them

302
00:15:55,920 –> 00:16:00,640
because the point of this is to
have eyes in pretty much every

303
00:16:00,640 –> 00:16:03,920
part of the world.
Yeah, it’s the Five Eyes, not

304
00:16:03,920 –> 00:16:09,000
the sex, Algin.
And.

305
00:16:09,240 –> 00:16:14,360
One German guy is going out.
The UK can cover Europe,

306
00:16:14,360 –> 00:16:16,680
Australia and New Zealand.
They’re close enough to any

307
00:16:16,680 –> 00:16:18,880
Asian nation.
We’d need to spy on that.

308
00:16:19,400 –> 00:16:21,960
We break it up like fucking
sports divisions.

309
00:16:22,160 –> 00:16:25,680
Kinda, yeah.
New Zealand’s the AFC East of

310
00:16:25,920 –> 00:16:27,520
reading your emails.
Correct.

311
00:16:28,480 –> 00:16:31,440
OK, yeah, I think we’re the
commissioner of this fucking

312
00:16:31,440 –> 00:16:33,600
league.
I think we kind of run it, but

313
00:16:33,760 –> 00:16:35,600
yeah, that’s actually a good way
to put it.

314
00:16:35,760 –> 00:16:39,440
I think we just direct all these
different intelligence agencies

315
00:16:39,440 –> 00:16:42,560
around the world when we want
them to spy on some shit for us.

316
00:16:42,720 –> 00:16:45,520
So Germany is like Seattle, just
like begging to get back in the

317
00:16:45,520 –> 00:16:47,520
game.
Yeah, shouldn’t have sent your

318
00:16:47,520 –> 00:16:49,400
franchise to Oklahoma City,
idiot.

319
00:16:49,640 –> 00:16:51,600
I’m from Seattle.
I shouldn’t have brought it up.

320
00:16:51,760 –> 00:16:53,760
I’m very, I’m still, I’m still
very upset.

321
00:16:55,200 –> 00:16:58,600
Only sonics you’re getting got
the two gay guys in the

322
00:16:58,600 –> 00:17:04,240
commercials eating slushy drinks
and cheese tots and what have

323
00:17:04,240 –> 00:17:07,200
you.
So an intelligence expert

324
00:17:07,200 –> 00:17:12,000
speaking to PBS in 2013 said the
arrangement the Five Eyes have

325
00:17:12,160 –> 00:17:14,480
quote makes it quicker to
connect the dots.

326
00:17:14,800 –> 00:17:17,319
End Quote.
I think 5 eyes taste better than

327
00:17:17,319 –> 00:17:19,880
Sonic because they do these
Cajun fries.

328
00:17:20,359 –> 00:17:21,760
They don’t.
They don’t season their meat

329
00:17:21,800 –> 00:17:24,240
though is the problem.
Boy, they got the real ice cream

330
00:17:24,240 –> 00:17:26,760
and the milkshakes and the
fucking free peanuts.

331
00:17:26,800 –> 00:17:29,200
I mean, call me an elephant.
I love free peanuts.

332
00:17:29,360 –> 00:17:32,680
That same expert added You can’t
underestimate the importance of

333
00:17:32,680 –> 00:17:36,480
the common language, legal
system and culture, and then

334
00:17:36,480 –> 00:17:39,640
added above all, there is total
trust.

335
00:17:39,920 –> 00:17:42,360
I doubt that.
The culture, What do they mean?

336
00:17:42,360 –> 00:17:43,880
Blue jeans?
What culture?

337
00:17:43,880 –> 00:17:45,960
What do they?
They could have just written the

338
00:17:46,000 –> 00:17:50,280
absence of melanin, yeah.
You think they just mean

339
00:17:50,280 –> 00:17:52,280
capitalism?
Yeah.

340
00:17:52,760 –> 00:17:54,880
Yeah, I mean, that is the
dominant culture of the Earth.

341
00:17:55,360 –> 00:17:57,040
I’m sure that’s all they really
mean.

342
00:17:58,200 –> 00:18:00,400
Yeah, like the fucking people
are gonna be like who are the

343
00:18:00,480 –> 00:18:03,720
most important people in human
history after they collapse and

344
00:18:03,720 –> 00:18:06,280
be like, shit.
I’m pretty sure based on from

345
00:18:06,280 –> 00:18:09,560
what we could tell, it was Goku
and Mickey Mouse were kind of

346
00:18:09,560 –> 00:18:12,600
like the Kennedy and Khrushchev
of the whole thing.

347
00:18:13,040 –> 00:18:14,720
Not even Superman anymore.
Damn.

348
00:18:14,720 –> 00:18:17,000
Step your game up, Clark Kent.
Yeah, sucks.

349
00:18:17,200 –> 00:18:19,160
He’s always a fucking mediocre
character.

350
00:18:19,360 –> 00:18:22,360
I’m a fucking lazy comedy
writer, and I know lazy writing

351
00:18:22,360 –> 00:18:24,880
when I see it.
And those, those two Jews were

352
00:18:24,880 –> 00:18:28,120
phoning it in that day.
And he’s stronger than

353
00:18:28,120 –> 00:18:30,360
everything.
And I don’t know, fuck it.

354
00:18:30,360 –> 00:18:32,240
Ice breath.
When you get the ice breath,

355
00:18:32,240 –> 00:18:33,880
it’s like, eat shit, All right?
What are you?

356
00:18:33,880 –> 00:18:35,240
What are we talking about
anymore?

357
00:18:35,960 –> 00:18:37,920
My eyes are hot.
My breath is cold.

358
00:18:38,720 –> 00:18:42,360
So the other reason we all agree
not to spy on each other?

359
00:18:42,440 –> 00:18:45,800
This is a quote from a retired
official familiar with the Five

360
00:18:45,800 –> 00:18:48,280
Eyes project.
There is very little we need to

361
00:18:48,280 –> 00:18:51,600
know about these countries and
their leadership’s views that

362
00:18:51,600 –> 00:18:53,640
the leaders wouldn’t tell us
themselves.

363
00:18:53,840 –> 00:18:57,800
And that seems like also kind of
the point that if you get one of

364
00:18:57,800 –> 00:19:01,120
these world leaders in a room
alone, they know they can talk

365
00:19:01,120 –> 00:19:04,560
to you without being recorded,
which I don’t know how that

366
00:19:04,560 –> 00:19:08,360
prevents like an outside country
from recording both of you, but

367
00:19:08,520 –> 00:19:10,800
sure.
Or from the Prime Minister of

368
00:19:11,400 –> 00:19:14,280
New Zealand about gossiping
about the Prime Minister of

369
00:19:14,280 –> 00:19:15,360
Canada.
Yeah.

370
00:19:15,880 –> 00:19:17,280
That’s where I have a hot tea
gets spilled.

371
00:19:17,480 –> 00:19:21,040
Loose lip sink ships.
He still does the blackface sink

372
00:19:21,040 –> 00:19:24,320
in private.
I don’t know why there’s a

373
00:19:24,320 –> 00:19:25,840
German Prime Minister of New
Zealand.

374
00:19:28,520 –> 00:19:31,200
And again, I’m asking like, what
is this like presumption of

375
00:19:31,200 –> 00:19:33,360
trust?
Is this like some like, do I

376
00:19:33,360 –> 00:19:36,680
need to think about this in more
brass fucking the real

377
00:19:36,680 –> 00:19:39,400
Polythique terms?
Is it just a fact of the matter

378
00:19:39,400 –> 00:19:42,800
that these five countries share
so many common interests it

379
00:19:42,840 –> 00:19:47,560
would be silly or antithetical
to the engine of capitalism to

380
00:19:48,400 –> 00:19:52,080
compete or deceive one another?
I don’t know, It’s just fucking

381
00:19:52,080 –> 00:19:53,680
strange.
It’s bro code.

382
00:19:53,840 –> 00:19:57,560
Who gets along with anybody?
Yeah, I think it’s just mutually

383
00:19:58,000 –> 00:19:59,480
beneficial.
Yeah.

384
00:19:59,640 –> 00:20:02,480
Two of these countries spun off
from one of the other countries.

385
00:20:02,600 –> 00:20:05,400
Like with how we forgot about
that. 3.

386
00:20:06,000 –> 00:20:08,560
Oh yeah, Mormon.
I think all of them they’re.

387
00:20:08,560 –> 00:20:11,120
All England spinoffs.
We’re all their kids.

388
00:20:11,240 –> 00:20:13,600
It’s like succession, just we’re
all trying to do better than

389
00:20:13,600 –> 00:20:17,680
Daddy.
This is the Joey of England.

390
00:20:18,680 –> 00:20:20,960
Yeah, yeah.
I actually like Joey the.

391
00:20:21,480 –> 00:20:26,040
Way they describe it, it seems
like it’s just easier if say,

392
00:20:26,040 –> 00:20:29,840
there’s someone in Australia
that we need to to track or

393
00:20:29,840 –> 00:20:33,280
monitor or surveil.
We just dial up Australia and

394
00:20:33,280 –> 00:20:36,480
have their people do it.
And same thing for Australia.

395
00:20:36,480 –> 00:20:39,360
If they’re tracking an
Australian dissident, I don’t

396
00:20:39,360 –> 00:20:43,080
know if those exist except for
the band Midnight Oil and shit.

397
00:20:43,080 –> 00:20:46,720
But other than that, if they
have to track someone in the US,

398
00:20:46,720 –> 00:20:48,480
they have us do it.
It’s easy.

399
00:20:48,680 –> 00:20:50,440
We should have something like
that in place.

400
00:20:50,640 –> 00:20:54,080
It’s like if the Mean Boys took
our 5000 Die Hard podcast fans

401
00:20:54,080 –> 00:20:58,120
and we found the band with 5000
Die Hard noise rock fans.

402
00:20:58,120 –> 00:21:00,560
And we just feel like let’s just
share venues.

403
00:21:00,560 –> 00:21:02,960
We’re drawing about the same
crowds, you know, we could use

404
00:21:02,960 –> 00:21:05,760
the contacts like.
I think that’s just comedy in

405
00:21:05,760 –> 00:21:08,760
the mid 2000s.
That’s just the way that we were

406
00:21:08,760 –> 00:21:11,360
doing it back then.
Yeah, I mean, what is it now?

407
00:21:11,360 –> 00:21:13,240
I just I.
Don’t know man, I do all my shit

408
00:21:13,240 –> 00:21:14,880
on the Internet now.
Fucking Zoom.

409
00:21:15,080 –> 00:21:16,640
Yeah, I was going to say Zoom
link.

410
00:21:16,840 –> 00:21:20,360
Yeah, this podcast.
There’s no one fucking driving

411
00:21:20,360 –> 00:21:22,840
to places that smell like urine
anymore for anyone.

412
00:21:23,080 –> 00:21:25,000
We used to be a proper country,
sorry.

413
00:21:25,560 –> 00:21:27,160
I’m not fucking driving anywhere
for anyone.

414
00:21:27,160 –> 00:21:30,040
It’s for God damn sure.
Adam loves the Great Reset.

415
00:21:30,080 –> 00:21:34,640
Every unpopped since 2020 has
been digital.

416
00:21:34,880 –> 00:21:37,560
Yeah, sorry you both didn’t have
to drive an hour and a half to

417
00:21:37,560 –> 00:21:39,720
do this today.
I know that would have been way

418
00:21:39,720 –> 00:21:42,840
cooler.
So just because we don’t promise

419
00:21:42,840 –> 00:21:46,600
to not spy on a country doesn’t
mean they don’t want to work

420
00:21:46,600 –> 00:21:49,280
with us.
We are the greatest God bless

421
00:21:49,280 –> 00:21:53,600
nation on earth, after all.
So to that end, there are

422
00:21:53,600 –> 00:21:57,960
extended versions of the Five
Eyes partnership.

423
00:21:58,320 –> 00:22:00,320
These are the Five Eyes kill a
bees.

424
00:22:00,640 –> 00:22:02,920
Yes, yes.
The associates.

425
00:22:03,120 –> 00:22:07,560
The Wu Tang affiliates the Nine
Eyes, that agreement adds

426
00:22:07,560 –> 00:22:12,360
Denmark, France’s whiny ass, the
Netherlands and Norway.

427
00:22:12,640 –> 00:22:17,960
And Redman wait.
And Buddha Monk, Young dirty

428
00:22:17,960 –> 00:22:20,920
bastard, you want me to keep
going?

429
00:22:21,160 –> 00:22:24,920
I kind of do, kind of do.
All right, well, as soon as this

430
00:22:24,920 –> 00:22:30,040
Wikipedia page loads.
Again, those countries are not

431
00:22:30,040 –> 00:22:33,000
safe from being spied on by the
Five Eyes.

432
00:22:33,200 –> 00:22:35,240
The grave diggers.
Remember them?

433
00:22:36,520 –> 00:22:42,040
But they do get some sort of
unknown benefits for not being

434
00:22:42,040 –> 00:22:44,680
mad about it.
I guess no one really knows what

435
00:22:44,800 –> 00:22:48,600
the Nine Eyes countries get for
their relationship with us.

436
00:22:48,880 –> 00:22:53,480
I know like Norway, that gives
us a Nine Eyes country on the

437
00:22:53,480 –> 00:22:57,240
border with Russia, so I’m sure
that’s why they’re beneficial to

438
00:22:57,240 –> 00:23:00,480
us.
But there’s also the 14 Eyes.

439
00:23:00,480 –> 00:23:02,720
Yeah, and Russia was like, hey,
Cuba, we fucking.

440
00:23:02,720 –> 00:23:05,120
We just love weird sandwiches
and old cars.

441
00:23:05,120 –> 00:23:09,760
We want to be friends, right?
There’s also the 14 Eyes, which

442
00:23:09,760 –> 00:23:15,760
adds Belgium, Germany, Italy,
Spain and Sweden to the party.

443
00:23:15,920 –> 00:23:20,080
It’s also the 20 eyes, which
adds all four of the original

444
00:23:20,080 –> 00:23:22,360
misfits.
Anybody walk among us?

445
00:23:22,360 –> 00:23:26,040
No, okay.
No, it just, it’s starting to

446
00:23:26,040 –> 00:23:29,520
sound a lot like the Greek
organizations where you have the

447
00:23:29,520 –> 00:23:32,360
ones that like work together and
then, hey, if you’re cool with

448
00:23:32,360 –> 00:23:35,360
us, then we’ll have sorority and
fraternity parties and we all

449
00:23:35,360 –> 00:23:38,320
get to hang out and have a big
kegger and a big rager, you

450
00:23:38,320 –> 00:23:40,600
know, And that’s like the
benefit is that you get to come

451
00:23:40,600 –> 00:23:43,360
and touch the orb or whatever.
Went over to her house last

452
00:23:43,360 –> 00:23:46,160
night, she let me touch the orb.
There it is.

453
00:23:47,200 –> 00:23:51,240
I also wonder if part of it is,
Well, if you let us spy on your

454
00:23:51,240 –> 00:23:55,600
citizens, we’ll let you know if
they’re up to anything like I, I

455
00:23:55,600 –> 00:23:59,840
bet we just want to be able to
spy on everyone everywhere.

456
00:24:00,000 –> 00:24:04,600
And so I wonder if the different
levels are the degree to which

457
00:24:04,800 –> 00:24:08,320
they let us spy on them.
I mean, I kind of think at a

458
00:24:08,320 –> 00:24:11,520
certain point it’s like we’re
going to do it anyway.

459
00:24:11,720 –> 00:24:15,640
So either you can be really cool
about it or not.

460
00:24:15,840 –> 00:24:19,280
You know, we’re almost like, you
know, the guys coming in to a

461
00:24:19,280 –> 00:24:22,440
new restaurant or convenience
store, like holding the baseball

462
00:24:22,440 –> 00:24:24,680
bat.
Like, man, it’d be really messed

463
00:24:24,680 –> 00:24:28,320
up if somebody fucked your cute
little country up here, but you

464
00:24:28,320 –> 00:24:31,880
know, if you let us look over
everything for you, then we’ll

465
00:24:31,880 –> 00:24:35,120
keep you safe.
Hit, hit, hit, hit on the hand.

466
00:24:38,400 –> 00:24:40,560
I guess in the rest of the world
they say like when America

467
00:24:40,560 –> 00:24:43,480
visits we get a scolding, when
China visits, we get a hospital

468
00:24:43,880 –> 00:24:46,720
with their whole like Belton Rd.
initiative of just giving

469
00:24:46,720 –> 00:24:49,200
infrastructure to people with
all their slavery money or

470
00:24:49,200 –> 00:24:51,800
whatever the fuck.
And we’re still on the fucking.

471
00:24:51,800 –> 00:24:55,440
We’re still on mean dad.
We’re still on mean 50s coach

472
00:24:55,440 –> 00:24:58,480
dad mode.
Fucking crew cut, take a salt

473
00:24:58,480 –> 00:25:02,560
tablet, stop being gay.
Do some push ups on them.

474
00:25:02,760 –> 00:25:05,720
Oh, but we got New Zealand, so
we’re fine.

475
00:25:05,920 –> 00:25:08,280
Any threats coming in from the
North Pole?

476
00:25:09,320 –> 00:25:11,280
I don’t know if that’s
completely accurate when it

477
00:25:11,280 –> 00:25:14,440
comes to China’s dealings around
the world.

478
00:25:14,640 –> 00:25:17,720
Not the full picture.
They’re going out and issuing

479
00:25:17,920 –> 00:25:20,920
loans to countries where they
know those countries aren’t

480
00:25:20,920 –> 00:25:22,560
going to be able to pay those
loans back.

481
00:25:22,720 –> 00:25:25,480
Some Tony Soprano Happy Wanderer
China loans.

482
00:25:25,720 –> 00:25:28,560
Yeah, and then they call those
loans in and they’re like, all

483
00:25:28,560 –> 00:25:31,280
right, well, just give us all
your fucking lithium then so we

484
00:25:31,280 –> 00:25:34,200
can make smart.
Yeah, all these countries are

485
00:25:34,200 –> 00:25:37,120
just the mobs, yeah.
You get mineral rights.

486
00:25:37,120 –> 00:25:40,240
You’re so golden.
Well, that is what China in

487
00:25:40,280 –> 00:25:43,640
large part is pushing for around
the world is mineral rights.

488
00:25:43,640 –> 00:25:45,640
Someone’s got to have them.
Someone’s got to make all these

489
00:25:45,640 –> 00:25:49,440
fucking gadgets and devices that
we fucking rely on.

490
00:25:49,800 –> 00:25:51,600
And China wants to be the
country that does it.

491
00:25:51,760 –> 00:25:53,640
And you know what?
They make a good product.

492
00:25:53,760 –> 00:25:56,800
Why the fuck not?
A Huawei phone is my favorite

493
00:25:56,800 –> 00:25:59,640
phone I’ve ever had.
It was like having a top of the

494
00:25:59,640 –> 00:26:03,320
line iPhone that I paid $249
for.

495
00:26:03,480 –> 00:26:06,320
Are you serious?
Yeah, that’s what the 2021

496
00:26:06,320 –> 00:26:11,720
episode was in large part about,
was the demonization of Huawei.

497
00:26:11,880 –> 00:26:15,440
At that point in history, they
were the number 2 smartphone

498
00:26:15,600 –> 00:26:21,040
company in the world.
It was, I think Samsung was #1.

499
00:26:21,440 –> 00:26:24,960
And that’s this company is owned
by Borat Lili.

500
00:26:25,640 –> 00:26:30,160
Yeah, well, it’s it’s a Chinese
company, and so we accuse them

501
00:26:30,160 –> 00:26:33,360
of using their devices to spy on
citizens.

502
00:26:33,560 –> 00:26:37,440
And I think it’s the same thing
as TikTok, where it’s not that

503
00:26:37,440 –> 00:26:40,120
we care about spying, we just
want to be the ones to do it.

504
00:26:40,400 –> 00:26:41,680
Right.
And if anybody else does it,

505
00:26:41,680 –> 00:26:44,080
then now we have competition,
so.

506
00:26:44,320 –> 00:26:47,040
Yeah, we’ve almost just been
doing the climax of The Dark

507
00:26:47,040 –> 00:26:51,200
Knight for the last 15 years.
Who controls the network of

508
00:26:51,200 –> 00:26:53,600
Spire?
You know the of information of

509
00:26:53,600 –> 00:26:56,240
the zeros and ones of every cell
phone on earth, you know.

510
00:26:56,480 –> 00:27:00,600
Yeah, it kind of seems like it.
So there’s also third party

511
00:27:00,600 –> 00:27:03,160
contributors.
Those are countries that

512
00:27:03,160 –> 00:27:06,120
sometimes share intelligence
with the Five Eyes, but they get

513
00:27:06,120 –> 00:27:10,160
even fewer benefits for it.
Somehow Israel is on that list.

514
00:27:10,400 –> 00:27:12,480
That’s probably that’s
diversionary.

515
00:27:12,920 –> 00:27:15,040
That’s like, hey, but we really
know.

516
00:27:15,200 –> 00:27:17,440
Well, no, I think it’s just
because we’re talking

517
00:27:17,440 –> 00:27:20,920
surveillance and Israel doesn’t
need our fucking help spying on

518
00:27:21,160 –> 00:27:22,880
anybody.
I thought it was more like when

519
00:27:22,880 –> 00:27:26,000
you keep your side piece in your
phone as like, you know,

520
00:27:26,040 –> 00:27:27,200
carpeting guy.
Or whatever.

521
00:27:27,240 –> 00:27:28,920
Yeah, that.
Could be.

522
00:27:29,320 –> 00:27:31,560
So bad I am a cheating.
I was like, yo what’s, what’s a

523
00:27:31,560 –> 00:27:33,240
good person I would text.
A guy.

524
00:27:36,360 –> 00:27:39,760
Yeah, a carpet guy too.
Not like that implies you have

525
00:27:40,040 –> 00:27:43,880
the need for carpet regularly.
I don’t go to the big chains.

526
00:27:45,560 –> 00:27:47,720
Got a small batch.
It’s about personal

527
00:27:47,720 –> 00:27:49,360
relationships, the carpet
business.

528
00:27:49,720 –> 00:27:52,040
Yeah, small batch artisan
carpets.

529
00:27:52,680 –> 00:27:55,760
So yeah, the simplest definition
of the 5I’s is that it’s a

530
00:27:55,760 –> 00:28:00,240
global surveillance alliance.
We learned from the Snowden

531
00:28:00,240 –> 00:28:03,800
documents that they have a few
different programs at their

532
00:28:03,800 –> 00:28:07,040
disposal.
One is called ECHELON, which is.

533
00:28:07,040 –> 00:28:08,960
Sick name.
Yeah, it’s a great name.

534
00:28:09,440 –> 00:28:12,640
It uses communication satellites
to intercept private

535
00:28:12,720 –> 00:28:17,120
communications, and then those
are stored and analyzed if need

536
00:28:17,120 –> 00:28:19,480
be.
There’s also the PRISM program,

537
00:28:19,480 –> 00:28:22,560
which does the same thing, but
it collects communications from

538
00:28:22,720 –> 00:28:26,760
social media and tech companies.
The Five Eyes were also behind

539
00:28:27,160 –> 00:28:30,000
the push to pass the Patriot
Act, so that’s great.

540
00:28:30,160 –> 00:28:33,480
Australia and the UK passed
similar laws to the Patriot Act

541
00:28:33,480 –> 00:28:38,360
in 2015 and 2016.
No rush, just wait for us to win

542
00:28:38,360 –> 00:28:41,960
the War on Terror and then start
passing your Patriot Acts.

543
00:28:42,080 –> 00:28:46,440
Also they are adamantly opposed
to encryption on messaging

544
00:28:46,480 –> 00:28:49,240
platforms, which should tell you
all you need to know about

545
00:28:49,240 –> 00:28:53,800
encryption on messaging
platforms and how important it

546
00:28:53,800 –> 00:28:55,840
is.
They released a statement in

547
00:28:55,840 –> 00:28:59,440
2018 saying they were going to
try and force tech companies to

548
00:28:59,480 –> 00:29:03,840
provide access to bypass
encryption and Australia passed

549
00:29:03,840 –> 00:29:07,200
a law that makes that a thing in
2018.

550
00:29:07,560 –> 00:29:09,960
Hasn’t happened here yet, but.
You got to wonder though, if

551
00:29:09,960 –> 00:29:12,080
Australia’s got this thing where
Apple has to build in a

552
00:29:12,080 –> 00:29:14,040
backdoor.
Well, now somebody’s built the

553
00:29:14,040 –> 00:29:16,400
backdoor for Apple.
I wonder if we could use it.

554
00:29:16,600 –> 00:29:20,160
Yeah, how hard could it be to
access that once it exists?

555
00:29:20,160 –> 00:29:22,320
Because they’re our best friend.
They’re our very best friend.

556
00:29:22,520 –> 00:29:25,960
Yeah, if just some guy on
YouTube can get like the poorly

557
00:29:25,960 –> 00:29:29,000
coded in the 1st place and
poorly made in design Kenny

558
00:29:29,000 –> 00:29:33,800
versus Spenny fan game from 2003
running off of like an Internet

559
00:29:33,800 –> 00:29:36,240
Archive RIP that was incomplete,
you know what I mean?

560
00:29:36,240 –> 00:29:39,960
Like the United States
government can go on a GitHub

561
00:29:39,960 –> 00:29:43,120
page and grab that fucking
decrypto.

562
00:29:43,320 –> 00:29:49,720
Yeah, and I’ve also read stories
that claim the FBI can pretty

563
00:29:49,720 –> 00:29:52,200
much get into any phone no
matter what.

564
00:29:52,360 –> 00:29:54,760
There’s some, but also I’ve
heard they can’t get into Eric

565
00:29:54,760 –> 00:29:57,240
Adams phone, which that’s funny
to me.

566
00:29:57,360 –> 00:30:00,800
Like of all the people who just
has the best phone security,

567
00:30:01,120 –> 00:30:04,200
it’s that guy.
Which is maybe because maybe he

568
00:30:04,200 –> 00:30:07,800
was so sloppy because he thought
that his phone was so good, that

569
00:30:07,800 –> 00:30:10,360
he didn’t like it was OK, that
he was making a bunch of just

570
00:30:10,360 –> 00:30:13,640
like baby’s first crime
mistakes, you know?

571
00:30:13,840 –> 00:30:16,360
Yeah, could be.
I think they can’t get into it

572
00:30:16,360 –> 00:30:19,360
’cause there’s so many Dick pics
they they can’t even load the

573
00:30:19,400 –> 00:30:22,560
interface to delete them to
clear space to make the phone

574
00:30:22,560 –> 00:30:24,160
more usable.
You ever have that?

575
00:30:24,480 –> 00:30:25,920
Yes.
No, it’s pictures of your Dick.

576
00:30:26,480 –> 00:30:29,600
Well, pictures of your Dick.
Yeah, specifically, yeah, I got

577
00:30:29,600 –> 00:30:31,240
all those pictures of Connor’s
Dick in my.

578
00:30:32,520 –> 00:30:35,320
Every night he asks for a wake
up call and every morning I get

579
00:30:35,320 –> 00:30:38,640
this feel.
It’s how you show you care, man,

580
00:30:38,840 –> 00:30:43,520
Guy, time.
So one of the push backs you

581
00:30:43,520 –> 00:30:47,720
always get when it comes to the
Five Eyes and just government

582
00:30:47,720 –> 00:30:51,360
surveillance in general is Oh
well, if you aren’t breaking the

583
00:30:51,360 –> 00:30:54,280
law, you don’t have anything to
worry about.

584
00:30:54,440 –> 00:30:58,720
And that is so incorrect.
You obviously have something to

585
00:30:58,720 –> 00:31:02,760
worry about if there are
entities out there collecting

586
00:31:02,920 –> 00:31:06,680
just all of your personal
information and communications

587
00:31:07,080 –> 00:31:11,440
and storing them somewhere.
Because even if the regime

588
00:31:11,440 –> 00:31:15,680
that’s in charge now isn’t using
it for nefarious shit, there

589
00:31:15,680 –> 00:31:19,440
could very well be a regime that
comes along at some point and

590
00:31:19,440 –> 00:31:22,200
decides to use that for
nefarious shit.

591
00:31:22,360 –> 00:31:27,280
Also, it’s just, it’s that same
thing of like anybody can sue

592
00:31:27,280 –> 00:31:29,000
for anything.
It doesn’t mean that the

593
00:31:29,000 –> 00:31:30,640
lawsuit’s going to be
successful.

594
00:31:30,880 –> 00:31:34,560
It doesn’t mean you know that
there is a guilty party.

595
00:31:34,760 –> 00:31:39,680
It just means that anyone can
sue for anything and you might

596
00:31:39,680 –> 00:31:43,760
be innocent, but it’s still a
pain in the ass for two years.

597
00:31:44,000 –> 00:31:47,120
And so imagine if that pain in
the ass is coming from the

598
00:31:47,120 –> 00:31:50,440
government and you having to
fight the government to prove

599
00:31:50,680 –> 00:31:53,240
that you’re innocent to the
government.

600
00:31:53,480 –> 00:31:56,640
And in the meantime, all of your
personal information is out

601
00:31:56,640 –> 00:31:59,800
there in discovery documents
where just anybody could read it

602
00:31:59,800 –> 00:32:03,280
or, you know, when the Justice
Department releases anything or

603
00:32:03,440 –> 00:32:05,960
you know, like that, that can
happen.

604
00:32:05,960 –> 00:32:09,440
So and I used to be a paralegal,
so these are things I think

605
00:32:09,440 –> 00:32:12,720
about.
So even if you are innocent,

606
00:32:13,080 –> 00:32:16,120
that doesn’t mean your life
can’t still be completely

607
00:32:16,120 –> 00:32:19,640
destroyed.
Then ways that are legal and OK

608
00:32:19,640 –> 00:32:22,000
by the way that the legal system
works.

609
00:32:22,240 –> 00:32:24,400
They have so much more access
and so much more leverage.

610
00:32:24,400 –> 00:32:26,200
You’re right.
It is like trying to convince

611
00:32:26,240 –> 00:32:28,080
Stanto that you’re a good
person.

612
00:32:28,440 –> 00:32:35,320
He’s like, well, I do know about
the Laffy Taffy’s in second you.

613
00:32:35,400 –> 00:32:39,520
You remember the Laffy Taffy’s?
Yeah, one of the articles we’ll

614
00:32:39,520 –> 00:32:44,360
link to about this points to
China’s social credit system as

615
00:32:44,360 –> 00:32:48,280
an example of how all this data
collection could go wrong really

616
00:32:48,280 –> 00:32:51,400
quick.
And I feel like we’re probably

617
00:32:51,400 –> 00:32:55,280
not as far away from something
like the social credit system

618
00:32:55,400 –> 00:32:58,600
here in the United States than
people would like to think.

619
00:32:58,760 –> 00:33:01,600
I feel like the infrastructure
has been like getting laid down.

620
00:33:01,840 –> 00:33:05,320
I also sidebar do wonder how
many, like how many acres of the

621
00:33:05,320 –> 00:33:09,000
rainforest have been burned to
just turn my fucking pornhub

622
00:33:09,000 –> 00:33:12,400
search history into a string of
zeros and ones for no reason.

623
00:33:12,560 –> 00:33:17,480
You know, yeah.
And think about Project 2025, if

624
00:33:17,480 –> 00:33:21,280
you’ve looked into that at all,
it is essentially demands

625
00:33:21,280 –> 00:33:25,040
loyalty to the president.
That’s one of the foundational

626
00:33:25,040 –> 00:33:29,520
things about Project 2025.
And that includes government

627
00:33:29,520 –> 00:33:32,200
workers.
Like they want kind of a purity

628
00:33:32,200 –> 00:33:34,800
test, I guess, for civil
servants.

629
00:33:34,800 –> 00:33:37,960
And if you’re not loyal to the
Trump administration, you’re

630
00:33:37,960 –> 00:33:41,160
fired, and they’re going to
replace you with someone who is.

631
00:33:41,320 –> 00:33:45,680
What happens when they expand
that to something like a social

632
00:33:45,680 –> 00:33:49,880
credit system where, well, Trump
is our president?

633
00:33:49,920 –> 00:33:54,280
And you have said all this shit
about Trump on social media over

634
00:33:54,280 –> 00:33:57,120
the years, Now you can’t rent an
apartment.

635
00:33:57,360 –> 00:34:00,440
Sorry.
Like it would take maybe a month

636
00:34:00,640 –> 00:34:04,440
for a Trump administration to
implement something like that

637
00:34:04,720 –> 00:34:08,080
because they have all this
goddamn data already, and I

638
00:34:08,080 –> 00:34:09,480
would.
Be surprised if there’s some

639
00:34:09,480 –> 00:34:13,159
fucking thing you can queue up
in a database somewhere where

640
00:34:13,159 –> 00:34:18,280
it’s like, Oh yes, Mr. Mcspadden
has torrented over 98 feature

641
00:34:18,280 –> 00:34:24,880
films and 23 television shows.
He’s stolen about $19,000 worth

642
00:34:24,880 –> 00:34:27,520
of Crystal Light packets from
his local target.

643
00:34:28,400 –> 00:34:29,880
You know what I mean?
And then he’s just, and it’s

644
00:34:29,880 –> 00:34:35,080
like that, that con man, you’re
at a 63% out of 100, you know

645
00:34:35,080 –> 00:34:37,800
that’s going to stop you from,
you can’t ride the train

646
00:34:37,800 –> 00:34:39,639
anymore, No Amtrak or something,
you know what I mean?

647
00:34:39,639 –> 00:34:42,280
It’ll be some weird shit like.
Yeah, Spectrum already has all

648
00:34:42,280 –> 00:34:44,520
of that information.
And even, you know, there’s that

649
00:34:44,520 –> 00:34:48,280
Google lawsuit where if you used
private browsing, it’s not as

650
00:34:48,280 –> 00:34:50,080
private as they said that it
was.

651
00:34:50,280 –> 00:34:53,679
And so, yeah, you know, one of
these days you’re trying to get

652
00:34:53,679 –> 00:34:57,440
on Amtrak or trying to get on a
flight, but it turns out you

653
00:34:57,440 –> 00:35:01,720
can’t because you have 250 gigs
of big titty Milfs and now no

654
00:35:01,720 –> 00:35:03,840
more flying for you.
You can’t even get on Spirit.

655
00:35:04,000 –> 00:35:07,800
As much as a of a crazy
conspiracy tech guys, I’ve been

656
00:35:07,800 –> 00:35:11,360
my entire life, never used the
VPN, never even fucking hit

657
00:35:11,360 –> 00:35:16,560
control shift and come kill me
leak all of it.

658
00:35:16,600 –> 00:35:19,080
I am who I am.
He’ll take his big titty milfs

659
00:35:19,680 –> 00:35:23,400
from his cold dead hands.
So I wish it was big titty milfs

660
00:35:23,440 –> 00:35:26,600
Daniel.
Aren’t the big titty milfs worth

661
00:35:26,600 –> 00:35:29,080
the sacrifice also?
That’s my America.

662
00:35:29,240 –> 00:35:31,120
Yeah, you can take boats to get
places.

663
00:35:31,120 –> 00:35:33,920
What do you need to fly for?
You, one of the Wright brothers.

664
00:35:34,240 –> 00:35:36,400
You can just float there you big
titty MILF.

665
00:35:37,560 –> 00:35:40,840
Walk down the river with those
jumbo Yum yums.

666
00:35:41,760 –> 00:35:44,680
But yeah, I absolutely could see
something like that being a

667
00:35:44,680 –> 00:35:47,240
thing.
Especially there was that huge

668
00:35:47,280 –> 00:35:51,800
hack recently where they just
announced, hey, everyone knows

669
00:35:51,800 –> 00:35:54,800
your Social Security number.
Now they it’s out there on the

670
00:35:54,800 –> 00:35:57,240
dark web.
As that happens more and more, I

671
00:35:57,240 –> 00:36:01,320
think people are just going to
not trust our current credit

672
00:36:01,320 –> 00:36:04,880
system.
You have been asking so many

673
00:36:04,880 –> 00:36:09,640
questions about Mr. Presley, Mr.
Brown.

674
00:36:11,360 –> 00:36:13,400
Yeah.
I mean, it could very easily be

675
00:36:13,400 –> 00:36:15,520
that.
And think about sites like Next

676
00:36:15,520 –> 00:36:19,400
Door that are just training.
Oh my God.

677
00:36:19,440 –> 00:36:22,160
Populations to spy on each
other.

678
00:36:22,320 –> 00:36:25,000
Every fucking aspect of the
surveillance state that’s

679
00:36:25,000 –> 00:36:26,880
entered our lives, it’s been so
funny.

680
00:36:26,880 –> 00:36:31,120
We have welcomed it in and paid
$1000 and stood in line for it,

681
00:36:31,640 –> 00:36:34,120
you know, like they just make
all this shit seem cool, like,

682
00:36:34,160 –> 00:36:37,000
oh, you’re helping your
neighborhood by being a fucking

683
00:36:37,000 –> 00:36:39,440
snitch, you know?
Alert, alert.

684
00:36:39,440 –> 00:36:41,000
Everybody make sure to pay
attention.

685
00:36:41,000 –> 00:36:44,040
I saw a car, they were going and
they seemed to drive by an

686
00:36:44,040 –> 00:36:46,720
address and then look at the
address and then shake their

687
00:36:46,720 –> 00:36:49,000
heads and then say I don’t think
this is the right address and

688
00:36:49,000 –> 00:36:50,800
then keep moving.
And they were wearing a hoodie.

689
00:36:50,960 –> 00:36:53,480
Do I call the police?
Everyone pay attention.

690
00:36:53,480 –> 00:36:55,880
It’s like, what are we doing?
Yeah, the first comments going

691
00:36:55,880 –> 00:36:57,280
to be, were they black?
Yeah.

692
00:36:57,600 –> 00:36:59,680
I was about to say 5 minute
period.

693
00:36:59,680 –> 00:37:00,680
No one responds.
Bread.

694
00:37:00,680 –> 00:37:05,640
This is black.
Yeah, that’s mostly what Next

695
00:37:05,640 –> 00:37:08,240
Door is for.
It’s for reporting when black

696
00:37:08,240 –> 00:37:10,360
people show up in your
neighborhood.

697
00:37:10,600 –> 00:37:12,360
It’s the act.
The full name of the app is

698
00:37:12,360 –> 00:37:14,240
actually called next door
parentheses.

699
00:37:14,240 –> 00:37:19,480
I don’t want them living.
So I don’t know.

700
00:37:19,560 –> 00:37:24,280
I think that is what you should
tell a person when they say, oh,

701
00:37:24,280 –> 00:37:26,000
if you’re not breaking the law,
who cares about all that

702
00:37:26,000 –> 00:37:27,640
surveillance?
You got to think about the

703
00:37:27,640 –> 00:37:29,400
future.
Well, yeah, that’s what I was

704
00:37:29,400 –> 00:37:30,680
thinking about the social credit
score.

705
00:37:30,680 –> 00:37:33,200
If it’s retroactive, I’m boned.
I was.

706
00:37:33,240 –> 00:37:35,240
I was boned by Episode 8 of Mean
Boys.

707
00:37:35,720 –> 00:37:38,440
But if it’s going forward, I
mean, I know how to pimp the

708
00:37:38,440 –> 00:37:40,320
system.
I can fucking pretend.

709
00:37:40,320 –> 00:37:42,800
I love the Chinese governments.
That’s not hard.

710
00:37:43,080 –> 00:37:45,680
They give us so much.
Guys, come on.

711
00:37:46,280 –> 00:37:48,960
Yeah, I wonder what their
impression of me is from that

712
00:37:48,960 –> 00:37:53,200
time I owned a Huawei phone.
I hope they like me in case they

713
00:37:53,200 –> 00:37:55,760
ever take over the world.
Some guy with big headphones

714
00:37:55,760 –> 00:37:58,520
who’s for some reason in a
Chinese van that says Larry’s

715
00:37:58,520 –> 00:38:03,640
Flowers.
More Mariah Carey than I was

716
00:38:03,640 –> 00:38:07,840
expecting.
Every time it clicks on your

717
00:38:07,840 –> 00:38:10,080
thing, she just you just hear
her Christmas time saying like

718
00:38:10,080 –> 00:38:13,880
it’s time over and over again.
Kylie loves Christmas.

719
00:38:14,280 –> 00:38:17,600
In my official file, huh?
Yeah, yeah.

720
00:38:17,600 –> 00:38:21,360
The reason I bought that Huawei
phone is as soon as I heard that

721
00:38:21,360 –> 00:38:24,080
the government was concerned
China could use it to spy on me,

722
00:38:24,280 –> 00:38:27,080
my thought was oh, so that means
you can’t spy on me with.

723
00:38:28,120 –> 00:38:30,440
It.
Yeah, between the two, I’m going

724
00:38:30,440 –> 00:38:33,280
to pick China spying on me over
the US government.

725
00:38:33,280 –> 00:38:35,800
I have more gripe with the US
government.

726
00:38:36,040 –> 00:38:38,640
Not that I have no gripes with
Chinese government, but.

727
00:38:38,800 –> 00:38:41,320
We should all have gripe with
every government, just as a

728
00:38:41,480 –> 00:38:44,600
general rule.
I do, I do have to.

729
00:38:44,600 –> 00:38:46,800
I’m just was marveling at Adams
conspiracy.

730
00:38:46,880 –> 00:38:49,480
Occam’s razor there.
That was really beautiful.

731
00:38:50,600 –> 00:38:51,760
Thank you.
I don’t want I’m going to get

732
00:38:51,760 –> 00:38:53,880
one of those phones now.
How’s the camera?

733
00:38:53,880 –> 00:38:55,360
Is the camera good?
It was great.

734
00:38:55,360 –> 00:38:56,720
It was.
I’m telling you, it’s one of the

735
00:38:56,720 –> 00:38:59,120
best phones I ever had.
But I think they’re like

736
00:38:59,120 –> 00:39:02,920
borderline illegal to buy in
this country now.

737
00:39:03,480 –> 00:39:06,760
When the price point just
doesn’t scream consensual labor.

738
00:39:07,600 –> 00:39:08,800
Yeah.
Exactly.

739
00:39:09,160 –> 00:39:13,080
Yeah, as opposed to all the
happy fun times people putting

740
00:39:13,400 –> 00:39:17,400
Apple phones together.
They got a net.

741
00:39:20,400 –> 00:39:22,560
It’s the happy net.
It’s where happy people show how

742
00:39:22,560 –> 00:39:24,360
happy they are by jumping into
the net.

743
00:39:25,640 –> 00:39:28,440
Divorced of the life of
servitude.

744
00:39:28,640 –> 00:39:30,440
Looks kind of fun to jump in a
giant net.

745
00:39:30,440 –> 00:39:33,080
I mean, I used to go to the
gymnastics gym on Sundays in my

746
00:39:33,080 –> 00:39:34,200
neighborhood.
There’s an open gym.

747
00:39:34,200 –> 00:39:35,600
It’s 10 bucks.
You play in the big long

748
00:39:35,600 –> 00:39:37,280
trampoline.
I don’t see much of a

749
00:39:37,280 –> 00:39:40,840
difference.
Yeah, that would be so brutal.

750
00:39:41,200 –> 00:39:45,400
You are so unhappy in your job
that you jump off the fucking

751
00:39:45,400 –> 00:39:48,800
building.
Only to roll back down to the

752
00:39:48,800 –> 00:39:52,640
first floor into the lobby.
You get a Nat and just bounce

753
00:39:52,640 –> 00:39:55,520
right back to your fucking task
on the 15th floor.

754
00:39:55,520 –> 00:39:56,760
Oh God.
Damn.

755
00:39:57,480 –> 00:40:00,360
It That’s when Sideshow Bob
works at the I iPhone factory.

756
00:40:02,400 –> 00:40:06,840
So the other thing I always
worry about when it comes to all

757
00:40:06,840 –> 00:40:09,440
of this data collection, and
I’ve said this a bunch before,

758
00:40:09,440 –> 00:40:13,120
not just all the data
collection, but just the fact

759
00:40:13,320 –> 00:40:19,760
that Dreamers are a thing in
this country, DACA, it’s

760
00:40:19,760 –> 00:40:22,320
obviously a good thing.
I’m not in favor of mass

761
00:40:22,320 –> 00:40:25,560
deportations by any stretch of
the imagination.

762
00:40:25,680 –> 00:40:29,880
But now that they’re on the
table with Trump maybe becoming

763
00:40:29,880 –> 00:40:33,880
our next president again, DACA
is also just a really great

764
00:40:33,880 –> 00:40:37,760
database of people who are
probably going to get deported

765
00:40:37,760 –> 00:40:40,040
first.
Yeah, yeah.

766
00:40:40,240 –> 00:40:43,240
All that shit happens.
I was having a fight one time

767
00:40:43,240 –> 00:40:46,000
with a buddy of mine who’s from
Africa and the buddy of mine

768
00:40:46,000 –> 00:40:48,240
who’s gay.
So they’re obviously probably

769
00:40:48,240 –> 00:40:50,800
pretty different view of HIV and
AIDS.

770
00:40:50,800 –> 00:40:53,320
And my friend from Africa was
saying like this is like a

771
00:40:53,320 –> 00:40:55,320
global health risk.
There should be a list of

772
00:40:55,320 –> 00:40:58,000
everyone in the world in the
world with HIV and for whatever

773
00:40:58,000 –> 00:41:01,040
some uneducated guys is not the
craziest opinion to have.

774
00:41:01,040 –> 00:41:03,880
And my gay friend was like, it’s
never been a good idea for there

775
00:41:03,880 –> 00:41:05,800
to be a giant list of gay
people.

776
00:41:05,800 –> 00:41:06,680
You.
Fucking idiot.

777
00:41:07,280 –> 00:41:08,520
And then, yeah, I think that’s
true.

778
00:41:08,800 –> 00:41:13,120
So yeah, that that’s something
to keep in mind when people

779
00:41:13,120 –> 00:41:15,640
write this off as nothing that
important.

780
00:41:15,840 –> 00:41:17,920
That is so funny.
It’s not even like expanding

781
00:41:17,920 –> 00:41:20,280
executive power in terms of what
you got to worry about like the

782
00:41:20,280 –> 00:41:22,840
next guy using it.
It’s like we literally, we made

783
00:41:22,840 –> 00:41:25,560
a list of vulnerable people to
help and it’s like, oh fuck no,

784
00:41:25,560 –> 00:41:27,040
I mean nowhere.
All the vulnerable people.

785
00:41:27,040 –> 00:41:29,440
Yeah, now they have a list of
end addresses and their parents.

786
00:41:30,520 –> 00:41:33,640
Yeah, and I’m pretty sure that
program requires you to like

787
00:41:33,840 –> 00:41:35,600
regularly check in like you’re
on.

788
00:41:35,800 –> 00:41:39,480
Pretty sure, yeah.
I mean, that’s what, when people

789
00:41:39,480 –> 00:41:42,880
are talking about Haitian
immigrants flocking to

790
00:41:43,000 –> 00:41:47,000
Springfield, OH, the program
they’re doing that under is

791
00:41:47,000 –> 00:41:49,360
literally called humanitarian
parole.

792
00:41:50,560 –> 00:41:53,960
So it’s God.
That’s a weird word to use for

793
00:41:53,960 –> 00:41:54,600
it.
Yeah.

794
00:41:54,960 –> 00:41:57,760
Yeah, right.
We got to, we got to fold it

795
00:41:57,760 –> 00:42:00,280
into the penal system somehow,
always, you know?

796
00:42:00,600 –> 00:42:04,600
Yeah, because it just makes it
sound like they they are bad.

797
00:42:04,600 –> 00:42:06,640
But we are helping, you know
what I mean?

798
00:42:06,640 –> 00:42:11,920
Like it doesn’t it already kind
of sets them in a light of being

799
00:42:11,920 –> 00:42:14,760
suspicious just by having the
word parole there because of

800
00:42:14,760 –> 00:42:17,240
what we use the word parole for
colloquially be.

801
00:42:17,480 –> 00:42:19,480
Like if you called Nelson
Mandela getting out of jail a

802
00:42:19,480 –> 00:42:21,920
work release.
Yeah, yeah, a little bit.

803
00:42:22,120 –> 00:42:24,680
Kind of, I don’t know, Sometimes
I cook up an analogy and I get

804
00:42:24,680 –> 00:42:25,960
real confident and I’m like, is
that?

805
00:42:26,920 –> 00:42:30,520
Even.
So I already mentioned the five

806
00:42:30,720 –> 00:42:37,400
is are getting into AI now.
They held a summit recently, and

807
00:42:37,440 –> 00:42:39,920
for one thing, they’re starting
to show their faces in public.

808
00:42:39,920 –> 00:42:43,720
The leaders of the Five Eyes
almost never emerge from their

809
00:42:43,760 –> 00:42:45,320
layers.
This is like you.

810
00:42:45,320 –> 00:42:46,680
They don’t even show their
faces.

811
00:42:46,680 –> 00:42:48,880
There’s no you can’t.
Like Jon Ronson and Alex Jones

812
00:42:48,880 –> 00:42:51,360
never even broke into their
secret clubhouse with a fucking

813
00:42:51,360 –> 00:42:55,120
flip Cam in 1998 and took grainy
video of them doing anything.

814
00:42:55,120 –> 00:42:59,480
There’s no fucking TMZ picture
of them going into the Plaza

815
00:42:59,480 –> 00:43:01,560
Hotel.
Fucking doctor claw man, we got

816
00:43:01,560 –> 00:43:01,960
nothing.
This.

817
00:43:02,280 –> 00:43:04,640
Is Doctor Claw.
Yeah, there is now.

818
00:43:04,760 –> 00:43:07,240
Now they’re starting to show up.
But.

819
00:43:07,400 –> 00:43:11,000
And that almost makes me feel
even less good about.

820
00:43:11,120 –> 00:43:13,600
That they’re like we can show
our faces in public now the

821
00:43:13,600 –> 00:43:15,400
sunlight no longer burns our
skin.

822
00:43:15,960 –> 00:43:17,880
Yeah, yeah.
And it’s also that thing that I

823
00:43:17,880 –> 00:43:20,600
was talking about earlier about
the dog whistles, when you no

824
00:43:20,600 –> 00:43:24,120
longer feel like you have to use
them because you can just say

825
00:43:24,120 –> 00:43:26,000
the quiet part out loud.
It’s like, oh, I can’t.

826
00:43:26,000 –> 00:43:27,280
There’s nothing you can do to
me.

827
00:43:27,280 –> 00:43:30,000
I can just be public.
Yeah, yeah, really.

828
00:43:30,280 –> 00:43:36,440
And I’ve talked a bunch on this
podcast about how the CIA has an

829
00:43:36,520 –> 00:43:41,360
investment fund, like a Silicon
Valley tech bro investment fund

830
00:43:41,360 –> 00:43:43,840
called Intel Q.
To the moon.

831
00:43:44,400 –> 00:43:46,720
I would buy that shit.
That would be my whole take it

832
00:43:46,720 –> 00:43:53,120
all out of index funds, the S&P
500, Intel Q to the moon, me and

833
00:43:53,120 –> 00:43:56,880
Pelosi baby.
Yeah, they, among other things,

834
00:43:56,880 –> 00:44:01,760
were early investors in Google
Earth, if you can believe that.

835
00:44:02,040 –> 00:44:07,000
The CIA for some reason wanted
to pump money into the program

836
00:44:07,000 –> 00:44:09,360
that will take a picture of
anywhere on earth.

837
00:44:09,640 –> 00:44:12,200
Weird time, crazy.
Go figure.

838
00:44:12,360 –> 00:44:14,600
Yeah, they just really want to
see a picture of my parents

839
00:44:14,600 –> 00:44:15,520
backyard.
That’s tight.

840
00:44:15,640 –> 00:44:17,760
Trying to find that river full
of milfs from earlier.

841
00:44:18,160 –> 00:44:26,080
Yeah, river MILF.
MILF river wider than a mile.

842
00:44:27,800 –> 00:44:33,320
You’re jiggling in style, OK?
I bring the CI as investment

843
00:44:33,320 –> 00:44:37,720
fund up because the Five Eyes
are now hosting an annual tech

844
00:44:37,720 –> 00:44:41,080
conference in Silicon Valley
because.

845
00:44:41,280 –> 00:44:44,200
Even if you told me ISIS was
having a Bake Off, you know I

846
00:44:44,200 –> 00:44:46,480
wouldn’t be through.
It’s whatever these guys are

847
00:44:46,480 –> 00:44:48,040
doing.
It’s not great, but that seems

848
00:44:48,040 –> 00:44:51,640
especially bad.
Yeah, I mean that to me.

849
00:44:51,640 –> 00:44:56,960
Just it kind of speaks to what
Danielle was saying in that it’s

850
00:44:56,960 –> 00:45:01,800
really just normalizing the fact
that, yeah, the government’s on

851
00:45:01,800 –> 00:45:05,000
your phone, like they listening
to everything.

852
00:45:05,160 –> 00:45:06,920
Remember when?
Yeah, that just seemed like the

853
00:45:06,920 –> 00:45:09,920
kind of thing that you would
have to watch a Vice special to

854
00:45:10,000 –> 00:45:12,920
see, you know what I mean?
It wasn’t some big thing that

855
00:45:12,920 –> 00:45:15,640
was right out in the open.
You’d have to go to your buddy’s

856
00:45:15,640 –> 00:45:21,160
smelly garage and listen to a 20
minute analysis of some cool

857
00:45:21,160 –> 00:45:26,640
lyrics and then.
Yeah, and now it’s just, well,

858
00:45:26,640 –> 00:45:30,080
like Connor was saying earlier,
a lot of the things that are

859
00:45:30,080 –> 00:45:33,760
used to spy on us, we fucking
stand in line to get it.

860
00:45:33,920 –> 00:45:36,120
And the example I always bring
up, Alexa.

861
00:45:36,680 –> 00:45:40,640
Yeah, exactly.
I covered a book on a couple

862
00:45:40,640 –> 00:45:43,480
episodes a while back called The
CIA and the Cult of

863
00:45:43,480 –> 00:45:45,680
Intelligence.
That one’s the ones that’s out

864
00:45:45,680 –> 00:45:47,160
of print, right?
Yeah, yeah.

865
00:45:47,160 –> 00:45:49,320
It’s long out of print.
It was the first book the

866
00:45:49,320 –> 00:45:53,880
government ever tried to get
censored and they did get a lot

867
00:45:53,880 –> 00:45:57,720
of it censored me and.
ATB got some fucking hard to get

868
00:45:57,720 –> 00:46:00,400
as books that we don’t need to
be reading.

869
00:46:01,760 –> 00:46:06,960
And one of the big concerns in
that book, and that book was

870
00:46:06,960 –> 00:46:09,640
published in like 71, something
like that.

871
00:46:09,800 –> 00:46:13,360
One of the big concerns is, Oh
well, someday the government

872
00:46:13,600 –> 00:46:17,160
will probably just have a way to
take a picture of every piece of

873
00:46:17,160 –> 00:46:20,760
mail that’s sent to your house.
You can just sign up for that

874
00:46:20,760 –> 00:46:23,440
now.
That’s just a USPS program

875
00:46:24,160 –> 00:46:26,960
called Informed.
That’s so funny, in case you

876
00:46:26,960 –> 00:46:31,280
know your mailbox is 100 yards
away and you need an informed

877
00:46:31,440 –> 00:46:34,200
decision on whether you should
get up and walk that far that

878
00:46:34,200 –> 00:46:36,040
day.
I think we’re we’re pretty

879
00:46:36,040 –> 00:46:40,160
aggressively self parodying the
most ham fisted first thought

880
00:46:40,200 –> 00:46:44,680
analogy, which is 1984 the
fucking telescreens where you

881
00:46:44,680 –> 00:46:47,280
watch a thing that tells you
what to think all day and it

882
00:46:47,280 –> 00:46:49,640
looks at everything you do so it
can make sure that you’re not

883
00:46:49,840 –> 00:46:52,920
fucking up.
And like, how close have we?

884
00:46:52,920 –> 00:46:54,840
And we all know that’s the
relationship.

885
00:46:54,840 –> 00:46:57,840
Every fucking Uber driver I’ve
ever met makes a joke about how

886
00:46:57,840 –> 00:46:58,920
their phone is listening to
them.

887
00:46:58,920 –> 00:47:02,920
It’s not a concept that is
hidden behind some barrier of

888
00:47:02,920 –> 00:47:06,320
libertarian douchebaggery.
We all like know about this shit

889
00:47:06,600 –> 00:47:10,120
and we’re just like, well,
that’s where I get my fucking

890
00:47:10,120 –> 00:47:13,680
Costco family boom.
Or do.

891
00:47:14,360 –> 00:47:17,120
And your employers do it too.
I remember when I got I got a

892
00:47:17,120 –> 00:47:21,040
work issue laptop for a job that
I was on and I noticed that like

893
00:47:21,040 –> 00:47:24,960
my boss had like a piece of
opaque tape that she would put

894
00:47:24,960 –> 00:47:27,960
over her camera every time she
would bust her computer out.

895
00:47:27,960 –> 00:47:32,840
And I was like, oh, you’re like
in charge of most of this.

896
00:47:33,000 –> 00:47:35,640
I should probably do that with
my work computer as well.

897
00:47:35,880 –> 00:47:37,600
Oh, Zuckerberg has one.
You ever see that?

898
00:47:38,000 –> 00:47:40,320
Yeah, about the only time you
want to take a cue from him

899
00:47:40,320 –> 00:47:42,760
about anything but.
Yeah, there were.

900
00:47:42,760 –> 00:47:45,560
I don’t remember who it was, but
someone was visiting Facebook

901
00:47:45,560 –> 00:47:49,160
headquarters and they saw Mark
Zuckerberg had tape over his

902
00:47:49,160 –> 00:47:50,600
webcam.
And they were like, fuck, I

903
00:47:50,600 –> 00:47:52,200
better put tape over my webcam,
huh?

904
00:47:52,240 –> 00:47:54,640
Yeah, yeah.
There’s a few things where I’m

905
00:47:54,640 –> 00:47:58,160
like, there’s some people.
I say take it all in.

906
00:48:00,280 –> 00:48:03,880
Look, I use my webcam as a
mirror sometimes, so definitely

907
00:48:04,000 –> 00:48:07,920
not the best, just not ideal.
And the idea that your phone is

908
00:48:07,920 –> 00:48:13,560
listening to you, you still get
so much pushback from people on

909
00:48:13,560 –> 00:48:15,240
that.
And it’s like you’re fucking

910
00:48:15,240 –> 00:48:17,680
smart.
TV is listening to you.

911
00:48:17,680 –> 00:48:20,200
It’s it’s job.
Yeah, we know.

912
00:48:20,200 –> 00:48:24,800
As again, part of the Snowden
documents that were released,

913
00:48:25,000 –> 00:48:28,560
the CIA had a program called
Weeping Angel, and it just

914
00:48:28,560 –> 00:48:31,320
turned smart TV’s into listening
devices.

915
00:48:31,360 –> 00:48:33,320
It would just activate
listening.

916
00:48:33,320 –> 00:48:35,920
That was before they turned into
9 Inch Nails.

917
00:48:35,920 –> 00:48:38,880
They were called Weeping Angel.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

918
00:48:38,880 –> 00:48:40,600
It’s a spin off of filter
actually.

919
00:48:40,760 –> 00:48:44,360
Yeah, OK.
That was the same team behind

920
00:48:44,360 –> 00:48:46,040
Five Eyes.
That name’s kind of hard.

921
00:48:46,040 –> 00:48:47,360
I wanted to hate it but I was
like.

922
00:48:47,600 –> 00:48:48,760
Yeah, that goes pretty fucking
hard.

923
00:48:48,800 –> 00:48:50,360
I don’t know.
I don’t know the correlation

924
00:48:50,360 –> 00:48:52,640
between that and ATV, but I’m a
Finder.

925
00:48:52,640 –> 00:48:54,720
It sounds pretty great.
Yeah, I do need.

926
00:48:54,720 –> 00:48:56,680
I wish I was in that room when
they were like, you know what?

927
00:48:56,680 –> 00:48:58,400
We should call this Weeping
Angel.

928
00:48:58,560 –> 00:49:02,360
That’s probably the scariest
part of that program.

929
00:49:02,440 –> 00:49:06,000
Whatever reasoning they have for
calling it Weeping Angel, that’s

930
00:49:06,000 –> 00:49:08,640
the part where if you read it,
you would just drop dead on

931
00:49:08,640 –> 00:49:11,320
sight from the shots.
Yeah, yeah.

932
00:49:11,440 –> 00:49:13,240
Or it’s just a Doctor Who thing.
I don’t.

933
00:49:13,320 –> 00:49:17,560
Know random name generator.
One thing I saw at an Art Museum

934
00:49:17,560 –> 00:49:20,120
in Phoenix one time, but they
you can Google the thing.

935
00:49:20,120 –> 00:49:23,480
It’s real.
It is patches for classified

936
00:49:23,480 –> 00:49:28,200
government military programs and
they’re fucking insane.

937
00:49:28,200 –> 00:49:33,640
One of them is like a starry
sky, a spaceship, an alien, and

938
00:49:33,640 –> 00:49:37,800
it says embroidered underneath,
a lifetime of silence behind the

939
00:49:37,800 –> 00:49:40,280
green door.
OK.

940
00:49:40,520 –> 00:49:43,400
OK.
Oh no, that’s not the behind the

941
00:49:43,400 –> 00:49:45,560
green door I first think of, but
OK.

942
00:49:46,800 –> 00:49:48,000
What’s the green door you think
of?

943
00:49:48,400 –> 00:49:50,680
Oh, that’s that one really
famous porn movie from what,

944
00:49:50,680 –> 00:49:52,520
like the 70s or some ship?
Oh, shit.

945
00:49:52,920 –> 00:49:54,120
Oh, is it, man?
Yeah.

946
00:49:54,120 –> 00:49:55,240
It’s like, great.
Shame on me.

947
00:49:55,240 –> 00:49:58,720
I don’t know my history.
I’m look, if you don’t know your

948
00:49:58,720 –> 00:50:00,200
history, you’re doomed to
repeat.

949
00:50:01,800 –> 00:50:04,160
It means there’s a lot of push
in our future, yeah.

950
00:50:06,320 –> 00:50:10,120
So yeah, the government’s spying
on you wherever you are, if

951
00:50:10,120 –> 00:50:13,120
you’re in an English speaking
nation, especially government’s

952
00:50:13,320 –> 00:50:15,920
listening.
And I don’t know, I feel like we

953
00:50:15,920 –> 00:50:19,520
should all know that by now.
And the reason I brought up the

954
00:50:19,520 –> 00:50:23,440
smart TV thing, if they can turn
that into a listening device,

955
00:50:23,440 –> 00:50:28,160
they can turn the thing that has
a microphone that you speak into

956
00:50:28,400 –> 00:50:31,040
if you’re still taking phone
calls like a fucking psychopath.

957
00:50:31,200 –> 00:50:33,800
They just have a phone so they
can put a microphone in it.

958
00:50:34,440 –> 00:50:38,400
And yeah, and if you what I’ve
never understood about the idea,

959
00:50:38,400 –> 00:50:39,960
no, your phone’s not listening
to you.

960
00:50:40,160 –> 00:50:42,680
Well, then how come it answers
me when I call its name?

961
00:50:43,480 –> 00:50:45,880
It’s got to be listening to me.
Huawei.

962
00:50:46,080 –> 00:50:50,520
Sometimes when I don’t say its
name, it thinks I said its name

963
00:50:50,640 –> 00:50:52,400
and it’s like, what up?
What do you need?

964
00:50:52,600 –> 00:50:54,920
So of course your phones fucking
listening to you.

965
00:50:55,080 –> 00:50:58,560
There’s no way it’s a
coincidence when that thing

966
00:50:58,560 –> 00:51:01,520
happens where you’re having a
conversation with someone in

967
00:51:01,520 –> 00:51:04,880
your living room and then you go
on Instagram and get an ad for

968
00:51:04,880 –> 00:51:06,680
the fucking thing you were just
talking about.

969
00:51:06,840 –> 00:51:10,960
Or worst of all, your Apple
Watch randomly goes Googling how

970
00:51:10,960 –> 00:51:15,520
many dead babies did the Hamas
fighters actually assault?

971
00:51:15,760 –> 00:51:18,960
Yeah.
So yeah, I’m gonna get a Nokia,

972
00:51:19,440 –> 00:51:23,360
Adam.
Let’s get like a 28 to 35 mile

973
00:51:23,360 –> 00:51:26,920
long piece of twine and two red
cups.

974
00:51:27,160 –> 00:51:29,640
Yeah.
That’s not a bad we could record

975
00:51:29,640 –> 00:51:32,080
that way too.
We pop one other line off the

976
00:51:32,080 –> 00:51:34,200
end for Danielle and then a
fourth.

977
00:51:34,200 –> 00:51:36,560
Line 3 way calling, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

978
00:51:36,640 –> 00:51:38,400
We’d have to.
Well, we if we can afford the

979
00:51:38,400 –> 00:51:41,440
cups, but as long as we’re
holding it taught, it should be

980
00:51:41,720 –> 00:51:43,080
fine.
As long as it’s taught.

981
00:51:43,400 –> 00:51:45,480
Good work.
I’m sure the government can hack

982
00:51:45,480 –> 00:51:47,600
that too.
That’s been around forever.

983
00:51:47,760 –> 00:51:50,800
That’s kind of technology.
Somewhere around the city of

984
00:51:50,800 –> 00:51:53,320
Downey, the feds added a fifth
string.

985
00:51:53,520 –> 00:51:59,360
Laughing Angel, that program.
So I think that’s our episode.

986
00:51:59,360 –> 00:52:01,240
We did it.
Turn your phones off, throw them

987
00:52:01,240 –> 00:52:03,880
in the river.
Danielle Connor, thank you both

988
00:52:03,880 –> 00:52:06,040
for doing the pod.
I appreciate it.

989
00:52:06,360 –> 00:52:10,040
It seems like the I appeal time
to plug some shit.

990
00:52:10,200 –> 00:52:13,120
I would like people to listen to
my solo podcast in broad

991
00:52:13,120 –> 00:52:15,160
daylight.
It will be back next week.

992
00:52:15,280 –> 00:52:17,600
This is tax time for me, so I’ve
been busy.

993
00:52:17,800 –> 00:52:21,120
You can get it wherever podcasts
are at or watch it on YouTube at

994
00:52:21,160 –> 00:52:23,760
Adam Todd Brown Comedy.
It’s short, it’s fun, it’s

995
00:52:23,760 –> 00:52:26,280
informative, but listen to it.
Danielle, what do you got to

996
00:52:26,280 –> 00:52:28,760
plug?
Oh, it’s find me on my socials.

997
00:52:28,760 –> 00:52:31,120
Anything I’ve got coming up, I
got, I got on there.

998
00:52:31,120 –> 00:52:33,560
I’m just Daniel Radford.
I’m still one of the last people

999
00:52:33,560 –> 00:52:37,680
clinging to the fucking Titanic
door on Twitter and I’m now

1000
00:52:37,680 –> 00:52:39,400
posting more on the many people
website.

1001
00:52:40,400 –> 00:52:42,920
No, I won’t.
I won’t.

1002
00:52:43,120 –> 00:52:45,560
Die com.
It isn’t even me.

1003
00:52:45,760 –> 00:52:48,200
It’s not even me being like fuck
Elon.

1004
00:52:48,200 –> 00:52:50,480
It’s just like I’m not doing it
like I.

1005
00:52:50,800 –> 00:52:53,200
I’m just.
Kidding, I’ve lived in the 90s,

1006
00:52:53,200 –> 00:52:56,240
I can’t call something X like.
It just feels too.

1007
00:52:56,240 –> 00:52:58,480
Douchey.
It’s so douchey.

1008
00:52:58,880 –> 00:53:02,760
There’s only 1X and they they
there are punk bands from 1979.

1009
00:53:02,760 –> 00:53:04,040
Damn it.
Here we go.

1010
00:53:04,560 –> 00:53:08,240
I will from time to time say
Twitter, currently known as X.

1011
00:53:08,400 –> 00:53:09,720
Yeah, I’ll do that if I have to.
Like, yeah.

1012
00:53:10,200 –> 00:53:13,520
I will never ever say X.
Formerly known as Twitter.

1013
00:53:13,600 –> 00:53:15,920
It’s like fucking stop it.
Stop saying that.

1014
00:53:16,160 –> 00:53:18,520
I only say it as a joke.
Yeah, it’s so funny.

1015
00:53:18,520 –> 00:53:21,440
Currently X.
Currently, yeah.

1016
00:53:21,440 –> 00:53:23,120
And then I’m also on the Pretty
People website, I’m on

1017
00:53:23,120 –> 00:53:24,920
Instagram.
It’s just Danielle under score

1018
00:53:24,920 –> 00:53:27,880
Radford and I’m trying to get on
to the other ones, but everyone

1019
00:53:27,880 –> 00:53:31,600
on Blue Sky is boring and
Threads is like weird.

1020
00:53:31,680 –> 00:53:33,680
I’m working on it, y’all?
I’m figuring it out.

1021
00:53:34,000 –> 00:53:35,840
I’m old.
Connor, what do you got to plug?

1022
00:53:36,160 –> 00:53:38,520
Hey, watch my one hour stand up
comedy special jokes about

1023
00:53:38,520 –> 00:53:42,120
Fucking on youtube.com and check
out the Mean Boys podcast.

1024
00:53:42,120 –> 00:53:46,400
It’s back for new episodes.
It is how do I describe it in 10

1025
00:53:46,400 –> 00:53:48,280
seconds?
It is a cavalcade of comedy.

1026
00:53:48,280 –> 00:53:53,360
We have monologue jokes, games,
fucking sketches, all kinds of

1027
00:53:53,360 –> 00:53:55,400
crazy shit.
We put a lot of writing and

1028
00:53:55,400 –> 00:53:58,800
effort into every show to make
it a finally spun piece of

1029
00:53:58,800 –> 00:54:01,800
audible taffy for you to do on
throughout your day.

1030
00:54:01,800 –> 00:54:04,480
And it’s a very enjoyable Adam.
But I guess many times we got

1031
00:54:04,560 –> 00:54:05,880
happy back.
Yeah, let’s do it.

1032
00:54:06,160 –> 00:54:07,760
You’ve made a couple of taffy
references now.

1033
00:54:07,760 –> 00:54:10,040
Now I am wondering what your
porn search looks like.

1034
00:54:10,240 –> 00:54:14,960
Yeah, a lot of salt water.
Worst taffy.

1035
00:54:15,240 –> 00:54:17,120
All right, let’s get out of
here.

1036
00:54:17,120 –> 00:54:19,920
Danielle, say goodbye.
Bye Connor.

1037
00:54:19,920 –> 00:54:21,720
Say goodbye.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1038
00:54:22,920 –> 00:54:24,200
Goodbye everybody, we love you.